It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
