ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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