At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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