how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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