There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
