maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
