They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
