If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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