We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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