i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
