In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
