he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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