doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
