you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
