the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
