Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
