i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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