VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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