blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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