there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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