and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
