so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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