awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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