I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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