Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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