We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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