Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
