I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
