Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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