whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize