so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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