My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
