How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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