This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
