Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
