Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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