i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Who did Billy Mays play for?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
