to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
