your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My vagina just recognized that song.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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