actually, I'm a sock model
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
