i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
