Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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