Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
