hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
