lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
