i think my mom watched the whole time
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
