his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
