One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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