I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
