I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
