He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
