A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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