I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
