she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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