he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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