Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
